This is my new studio!! At five in the morning. Me.. freezing cold, in my dungarees and fleeces sneaked out while she slept, with my coffee and crutches, in the dark to get painting .. until the hands and knees gave out with cold.. BECAUSE I WAS I SOOOOO EXCITED!!!
My neighbours might think I am a bit strange. I don’t do things in a straight line. I have appeared in the village.. with a crazy eight year old, a crazier dog, ( jury out on that one actually!) and two lazy cats… and an awful lot of things…. and begun projects that don’t quite make sense.. until.. maybe one day they actually do.. and then.. they are occasionally pretty cool……. (More of that in another post!)
And that’s the thing. I have come to realise …..that nothing good ever happened in a straight line. Having the spontaneous and primal desire to change and create something , is the biggest and most crucial factor. You might insert your own belief system at this point, and it really doesn’t matter how you get there, but you are being honest and that is the key..
NO-one should be able to comment on your own particular brand of belief by the way. ….. as it is your modus operandi … ….. ! I believe there are huge universal factors which we are far more capable of channeling than we know. …… But I also think that we mistake our tiredness, sadness and feelings of being overwhelmed, as weakness, or signs that things aren’t meant to be…. . We look for reasons to fail as soon as we begin something wonderful and then pat ourselves on the back when we see how it has yet again, it has gone belly up. When things don’t go from ‘a’ to ‘b’ quite often it is all too easy to give up. ( or cave into ridicule…)
Life is like spaghetti. The journey to creating something amazing, albeit a dream space, a move somewhere, a de-cluttering of your life, a painting.. it is all simply about knowing it is going to happen. You’re going to get to that morsel.. sometime .. you can smell it!!!
And then the trick is.. Just .. to get on with life anyway, sounds simple, but stop worrying.. . Continue to chip away at your dream though…. no matter what anyone else thinks, or how long it takes .. If you want to visualise it, there are numerous ways to create boards of ideas.. This does work.. cementing your vision more clearly and focusing your attention away from too many different options, which could make it happen or mess it up…… .
Making something unique and layered with the detail you want, in a creative endeavour or in a physical dimension must take time to build up. I have often been told off for the piles of things in corners ‘waiting’ to go into one of the rooms, or the new huts. Because for a lot of people, the ‘a’ to ‘b’ route makes more sense……………
I think you’re meant to buy your curtains and your matching cushions after you build your extension to your house . I do understand that, and that is perfectly ok too, but, sometimes you must get that perfect vintage pair in the charity stop EVEN before you build the room they will go in, because you will one day have that room..and then your faith in your plans and ideas will feel so much richer.
Different routes to goals and schemes are what makes life interesting , a bit like enjoying a nice clean, observed line drawing , simple and easy to read at first glance……
And the contrasting rich emmersing process of experiencing mixed media work, creating a layered paper collage, of found objects and treated surfaces, stitched into and gathered from various adventures….. you need to wait to create something like that, collect treasure, experiment, and maybe until your heart is ready to piece it all together.
Big dreams do take longer. You stop and start. School runs and Supermarket shopping get in the mix and the route gets wiggly. But you can’t give up. My belief is, and I am speaking from experience, that an artist might go months or years, with only their sketchbooks as pathways to their souls : but the thinking, teaching, planning, talking, sharing and being all the other people that they need to be, is still creating and feeding the resource of you- as- an- artist. . ( This is more often a mum thing, as I have lost count of the conversations I have had about how hard it is to fully relax and lose yourself in artwork when you still have to cook the tea/look after the family/iron school shirts……..
but I am sure, this will apply to some Dad’s, and folk with other dependents too) The key is not to let the kernel of desire die. Feed the ideas, and drop them into a box of plans for your dream, no matter how tiny it may be.. write things on napkins at the soft play cafe or the garden centre: print off pictures, let the dream know it is still there. Like a dragon feeding, being fed and watered it will keep growing and evolving, and one day come to fruition.. a twisty turney journey of unexpected adventure, which you will ,I hope tell me all about when we next meet. There were a thousand days and a million moments over the last five years when the odds were so stacked against us, it seemed like swimming in toffee. But the kernel of trust and belief stayed in place (somehow!) It is sooooo hard not to believe the doubt in someone else when they ridicule you. But remember it is only their fear. Do it anyway.. then invite them round for tea!
xxx Liz xxx