In the Zone..

Sorry.. sorry.. sorry.. I keep hearing myself say in my head, as I am weeding a flower bed and dabbing at  a piece of a new painting simultaneously.. feeling the guilty pull of the list of replies I should be making to my dear ones …

I’ll be with you in a minute !!!!

You aren’t ignored. I am ignoring The pull.

Because, this is one of the very few weeks of the year where you can be in the zone and time and the weather is playing hard ball.

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We recently spent a week with our dear friend in Spain. She and I, and the small person headed for water whenever we got the opportunity, as temperatures soared between 35 and 44! My lovely friend packed and unpacked the car with our beach clobber, and bravely transported me in the wheelchair to a water source in a different spot every day. We covered ourselves in health improving mud, trekked up a zoo path, whooshed around a moving river in a spa pool and lay like lilos when we got to the source..

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It was a lovely break. Only a few friends are trusted at the helm of the chariot and I hope her back has recovered! Thank-you again for making all that we did possible. We often went to a pool where my daughter and other kids played . I was able to be in the water but I couldn’t move my joints so I couldn’t swim, however I was glad , oh so glad to be in that pool .

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The bittersweet irony at the moment, is being so close to the joys around you but not being able to participate as fully as you might. In a strange way though, it makes spaces for little things you otherwise wouldn’t do. On holiday I read a great, life- affirming book whilst Leah swam, and made plans for projects, took photographs and absorbed all the laughter in the barmy sunshine.

We can either feel ‘plonked’ and act like a plonker or we can still be the same vibrant person under whatever changes our body is making. We can’t control that, but we can still exist in the cracks of our lives and accomplish more in a tiny gap between our obstacles.

You choose.

At this stage, with various procedures and diagnosies still hanging it can feel like I am camping in a different country, my body not knowing its own language. Small achievements are so enjoyable it is a joy to share them as we go.

And it got me thinking about this Summer place we find.

The magical window.

The bit where there is a sweet spot.

Gratitude sharpens your experiences and your eye for detail. Taking pleasure in what, to some can seem trivial or inconsequential.  

Gratitude sharpens your experiences and your eye for detail. Taking pleasure in what, to some, can seem trivial or inconsequential.  

Being able to feel the moment, despite the pain or focusing on lack keeps us moving forward. And we can get there by letting it in and breathing quite a lot of other stuff out..

Back in Spain….. At the top of the zoo hill there were tears (mine) (and a hot and stroppy ten yr old’s) and there was exhaustion, (all of us) A desperate craving for the end of day, a very cold g. and t. and a blast of cool night air.

Only when that came, and the air was slightly less oven like, and my kind friend suggested I sit down, my legs didn’t want to.

You see my sweet spot had arrived. The house was cool enough and now I had stuff to do. It was a little pocket in the day, to complete a few tasks, grab a drink, bath mini and me and potter until exhaustion proper kicked in. I had been at the mercy of others and a chair all day and I was me -ish.

Lets go girls.. (or boys)

The obstacle course got temporarily a bit easier once the sun got lower and this was the chance to feel useful on the planet. Squeezing as much into the magical window as possible, when you can, that makes you happy and fulfilled , keeps you going until the next carved out slot comes along and nobody knows when that might be .

Everyone’s idea of what is perfect to relax with is vastly different. For some it may be a sun lounger by a large, noisy poolside, a spa day of treatments and a tequila sunrise . Yet after enforced exhaustion, wheelchair use, living on crutches, you want to make things, find things, be things, try things and get into the world.

Everyone’s idea of what is perfect to relax with is vastly different. For some it may be a sun lounger by a large, noisy poolside, a spa day of treatments and a tequila sunrise . Yet after enforced exhaustion, wheelchair use, living on crutches, you want to make things, find things, be things, try things and get into the world.

Yesterday I was in the garden, crouched under the bushes , one leg poking out, listening to the birds and contemplating the miracle which is a garden. In under two years a crop of great things has blossomed and flourished . I had just found blackurrants perfectly hanging in little bunches .one of my hilarious neighbours nearly made me jump out of my skin as I was simply somewhere else. It was bliss

I am in the magical window, and it isn’t gong to last. The beautiful weather which lets the back door be open and the curtains sway in the breeze, the story tape playing while a long abandoned painting is finally completed . Trimming fairy gardens overgrown in the summer rain and finally clearing out junk squirrelled away all year by young and slightly young at heart hoarders …

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There is a magical temperature which lets all this stuff happen. Not too hot that you resemble an air balloon, but warm enough to lubricate the rusty limbs for a few precious weeks

And that’s why I know my true friends will understand why I am a little tardy with replies to messages and a bit vague here and there. This is the only time of year that a sore body can be outside pottering about so freely and with less time constraints too.

The Summer holidays began with an Enid Blyton Style camping excursion to the caravan in the garden, which enabled me obviously, to begin wafting in linen around the house whilst reading poetry to the cat..

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I wish.

I watched everything on the t.v. planner with swear words in, ate hummus and talked to myself about sensible things like making a scarecrow and a pond for our one remaining goldfish, whom I feel very sorry for, having just lost his tank mate and who now spends his days swimming in his own doo dah.

It lasted one night, but at least it was the whole night. And One has to learn to be less patient in completing creative endeavours because there isn’t endless energy, endless warm days and endless time. Getting in the zone is a sensory pleasure and is curtailed by a set of circumstances we don’t choose, but have to learn to get along with.

So we wake up, start a new day and we make again. At the weekend, a new pond! A fabulous homemade build which did in fact make our goldfish much happier: Recipe = ikea boxes + Neighbours saw+ pond liner+ duct tape+ determination+ earth+ alpine plants+ visit to builders merchants for cheap stones+ netting to ward off hungry seagulls .

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I have been told, “oh but you make it look so easy”. It makes me laugh to think how lovely but how utterly misguided this is.

Learning the rhythm of our mobility and how we adapt can free up little pockets of loveliness – your own recipe for tapping into some of that stuff on your hit list, while you can, when you can.

Getting things done..

As an early bird; We are always up early anyway and both of us enjoy an hour or so of me- time in the morning to come round. Especially, like me, if your body needs to adjust, for meds to get to work etc. I love my mornings. Watching catch-up on tv and doing my writing, facebook, posts etc. My brain loves mornings but will be pretty rubbish past Eastenders O’clock.!

Finding your not- so- sweet spot in the day- Perhaps ( and there is a possibility as there is a ?? in our family tree !!! ) I was from Mediterranean stock. Oh, two o’clock comes and I can just do with a siesta!! Either rest or reschedule then.. possibly for the whole winter…. .

You don’t know what is round the corner weather wise, health wise or relationship wise; so bloody hell– seize the day please !!!.

Use the year, month, day, to your advantage and let your dear ones know you are alive but need to be in your zone while you can. From April to September you can find me in the undergrowth somewhere or deep in conversation between hanging out a shirt and feeding a chicken.

Even in July, the tendrils of Autumn’s harsh winds are closer, and you feel you are on a train at full speed careering through the year without stopping at the stations. Looking out of the window and sharing your thoughts with your fellow passengers is an essential part of the journey. Our destination being another cycle of winter’s bite ahead, digging out the wooly socks again and stocking up on coal, enforced hibernation. So making the most of the outside time we have together is so important

In these extremes, when our bodies are wonky all that normal stuff is doubly hard, we must seize the day, make hay while the sun shines. If we can walk, see, hug, hold a pen, plant a seed, make a paint mark, rub a dogs ear ; laugh with a friend, how lucky are we ?

And it all feels so much better in the sunshine.

I have been busy in my magical window, sowing seeds in the garden, in creative ways only available while the studio and my hands are warm, the air is sparkly and new friends pop up over the fence all Summer! With one shoulder , one or two bones still ok and a will of iron, new projects are flourishing. Here is our entry for the Coldingham Scarecrow trail for Coldingham Priory;

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Brother Benedict is a heavy thing! So lots of help has been received and appreciated . You can vote for any of your favourites at the Coldingham Gaa Sunday. Info on the Coldingham primary website.

And lastly for today..

Our new Mosaic path being made now from bits of old china, old bathroom tiles and small glass mosaic pieces. Just managed to get the glue dry before the heavens opened last night!! A hop skip and jump through the grass for soggy winter grass.

How cool is this path? Although, yes, I can hear you say- if it was mine it would already have spots on!

Thank-you for being with us patiently and with continuing trust .  We are here, building something magical whilst still gazing up at the clouds.

With love and gratitude, Happy happy Summer xxx liz and the zoo xx