Marathon

I have a friend who is the same age as me, and she is training for a marathon. Last weekend she won her age group category in a long distance race, regaling its arduous last miles, as myself and my choir buddies listened in awe. 

As I recalled my own school sprinting triumphs and then looked down at my trusty walking sticks; I joked that many of us were living vicariously through our fit friend. There were lots of genuine nods of agreement.

I can’t walk without support, and even then I am in pain most of the time. Another round of Surgery is scheduled this year but it is a fact that arthritis will always be my companion. 

For me it is essential to rest every day, and I probably rattle with the medication I take to keep my pain manageable and my immune system functioning . 

However, I’m also weirdly ok with my lot most of the time. This might not have been the life I planned; but it is my own unique life. And how we perceive what we find on our plate is a choice, as is what to try to change, if we can.

Sometimes life simply stops us in our tracks and our control is gone. The limitations we thought we had were minor compared to a looming new life obstacle.

I have another friend who has been extremely poorly and in hospital for over a year. At times it has felt to him a hopeless situation which would never improve. The strength to sustain good mental health when you and your body are failing to function is terrible and terrifying. It is my belief that his unwillingness to let the bstrds win, and his fight for Scottish independence and his passion has kept his spirit alive and hopefully will prove to the powers that be that he is worth caring for in his own home.  

A positive attitude isn’t always easy. Especially when you don’t hold all the cards. But what I do know is that comparing ourselves to someone else is a dangerous habit . In my own work , as soon as I feel the pressure of having to keep up with the Art world or paint in a certain way or be marketable, I lose my focus. It isn’t enjoyable. I make bad art. The flow simply goes.

When I am still, when I am listening to my inner voice and my own thoughts  and heart I make my Art. I am in my own world and it doesn’t matter who sees it. When I try and be someone else, I take wrong turnings.

This voice is essential listening. Our intuition gets us through the darkest times and tells us to be kind to our authentic selves. This might not always be easy. The world invades our consciousness every time we pick up a mobile. There are so many options and reasons to feel like a failure. Why bother? Sometimes the more we learn, the less we feel we know.

I’ve done enough running to last a lifetime

Trust in my instincts has got me through the worst of times in my life, having a stubborn kernel of inner strength which kind of knew which way to go, even if it didn’t make sense. Thirteen years ago I walked away from a 13 room house with my tiny child and a carrier bag. It wasn’t safe for us. 

Without family I had no choice but to keep the faith in my own ability as a mum to get on with it. I couldn’t waste energy envying those big houses and big lives because despite having had all that myself; those material things and the good health of the young is never assured. I put my superwoman pants on. I fed my Art after she was in bed.  

Nobody knows what anyone else’s life is really like behind their door. We imagine that being a faster, healthier, richer, better- at painting water colours, -thinner, more recognised -online version of ourselves will make us fuller and more complete.

Only. We’ve only truly got right now. And the cards we hold in our hand.

The freedom to choose each tiny step is worth more than a thousand possessions. Our vitality isn’t limited to our mobility level and no matter how long it takes, we can get to our own finish line. One step at a time.

From that carrier bag grew a future, which evolved and changed, gathering friendships, possessions, home decor, oodles of creativity, various animals and a partner. (as well as r.a !)

Focusing on the positive and having a bit of crazy mix of patience and spontaneity has gets us all through life. Below is a little write up of our local Art group in the paper.

 

Recognition is important and wonderful. Celebrating success and sharing Artwork with the world. However, personal success isn’t simply who knows about you when you’re gone, or whether you’ve gone viral: success is how we see who we are right now, recognition of our own hard climbed mountain,s and the steps we have taken towards truly and bravely being free.

We are now properly home, seeing the rewards of our labours and filling it with good people. If you had told me how many steps Id have had to take to get here; would I have even begun?!!!

My health hasn’t been so great this year. Something I try to ignore, but am forced to admit defeat to occasionally. My strategy appears to be run as fast as I can, doing all I can in case tomorrow won’t let me. And on those days, when the world carries on running, and I’m on the blocks still; I can still see that none of this existed a year ago.

Walking alone was never going to work for me. I like to create environments that spark joy. To inspire others we must let go of who we think we should be and set our own pace. Letting go of what isn’t working for us and our bodies any more. I am inspired by every single one of my friends and the creativity that blooms in the Art and craft groups. One of the reasons they are so magical, is that each participant holds each other up to the light without blocking it. Everyone gets to shine.

Be proud of how you move along. Slow and steady wins the race. But the view is what we came for xxx

Have a wonderful day

Love liz at the Beach Hut xx