Iron

When I started this blog ten years ago, it began as a way of saying to the world that although my teaching career had changed direction , I was not giving in to my health issues. I wanted to share the new path my small person and I were forging ahead in a new life, free from domestic coercion, and the teaching profession, and juggling single motherhood, chronic pain and arthritis with an Art business . 

At the last count, my surgeries have reached around twenty. Various bones have been fused, taken out,  mosaicked, replaced, injected, and pysio’d upon. Yes, it has been a rocky road, but we forged ahead each time on new crutches. And for most of the time, she and I managed just fine, even travelling to far flung destinations with two snorkels and a wheelchair. With a little energy and a lot of determination, there was nothing we couldn’t do.

We find a reserve of strength to  keep going when that’s the only choice.

Right now, I find myself the right side of a knee replacement , six weeks on and gathering my thoughts for any future recoveries but also wanting to share what I’ve learnt.

For six weeks I have felt very unwell. All the medical professionals kept telling me it was post op fatigue. But I knew it was more than that. My mind was groggy. My me was gone. When my partner got sick too, I felt very vulnerable. Eventually, I persuaded the g.p. to do another blood test, and it turned out that I had been anemic since my surgery; (so much so that at the time they were going to do a transfusion, as the blood count was so low. Even after a few days of taking iron tablets, my thoughts and sense of well being returned. The fear of losing my energy for good subsided. I can’t tell you what a relief this was.

Self care is not the same as self indulgence

Clear niggling jobs that will worry you in recovery-if you can. I knocked my pan in doing a life laudry pre op, cleared a shed of clutter. But personally, I am glad I did now, because I can’t help with heavy domestic stuff and now my daughter has her own storage space which she can deal with herself ! 

(Not her actual room-I’m not that brave!)

Plan for yourself as if you were  having a guest to stay 

Carve out a pleasant space to recuperate. 

Clear away clutter and unresolved projects . They’ll annoy you as you stare at them day after day! Set up a few things you might like to do.

 

I put up a clothes rail of my floatiest clothes so there was no rummaging in drawers to do. You don’t want anything tight on your swollen, sore body and it will be tricky to bend. I lived in stretchy pyjama bottoms and t-shirts for the first couple of weeks and loose cotton things if anybody took me anywhere! The floor might feel a long way away at first, so know where your shoes are. Place all your essentials and toiletries above waist height!! 

If your loo is upstairs, you might be spending more time in an upstairs room so: 

Set up a kettle and tea things like your own bed and breakfast. Gather enough cups and spoons, fill jars with tea and coffee and remember to take up milk at night . (It should last if covered overnight. This is a godsend in the morning, especially if your cohabitants aren’t awake early with post op pain too! 

You may get cold easily, or hotter than normal ! Make up the bed in layers of sheets and blankets that can be jiggled about.

Have a bedside drawer or box of useful things near you- pens/ medicines / glasses/ phone/ snacks/phone numbers etc. 

Now is not the time to be virtuous

Plug charger in as close to bed/ chair as possible 

Have things to do that keep you distracted- drawing/ writing/ online games or a craft. Initially I found I just couldn’t get comfortable anywhere but my bed with an ice pack on my knee. And like Frida Kahlo I surrounded myself with paint and sketchbooks whilst propped up by pillows, and accompanied by various languid cats.

Frida Kahlo bed-bound and painting 1950’s

There is a lot of advice about batch cooking before surgery. To be honest, the nicest thing about not cooking for a week or two is eating things you wouldn’t normally cook. Splurge on nice ready meals as part of your therapy! 

Keep on top of pain and pre-order all the usual meds. Time goes wonky afterwards so be your own advocate beforehand. 

Carve out a small space outside to get some sunshine

Do not worry that you haven’t achieved anything much. You got another day under your belt. Another day closer to mobile. This is definitely a time for binge watching anything your other half dislikes!

I am here to remind you and (myself if I do ever get more surgery) that the sorest days do pass, that those times when it feels like you’re stuck in a mind-numbing groundhog day never to see the outside world again will change, that this too will make you stronger 

There will come a day when knees will bend, or shoulders will rotate, or hips stop clicking; but until then you’re still gorgeous.  

  Your new knees will soon hold you up at a Rock choir gig!

And even the brain fog which seems never ending and makes each day feel very small; will lift, given time. Keep listening to your own sense of your body.

Iron tablets, chocolate and good friends will always keep you going.

We all feel, when we are out of the loop, even for a week or two; that the world moves on without us, that the gap is closed and we have faded out of the picture. I promise this isn’t true. You are loved, even if you aren’t feeling so keen on you.

Thank goodness for that!!

This was me at my daughter’s age! Maybe a younger me, but I would like to think that she is still in there somewhere, leaping in a different way, but like you; never giving up thinking she can fly.

Have a wonderful week and if you are healing, switch off the world and believe in your wings.

Love and hugs, Liz at the Beach Hut xx