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Her

A post for a few who need it.


Her

There was a girl who looked like me
She followed me close by.
If someone hurt or saddened us
She hid away to cry.

She weighed as heavy as a rock
But couldn’t quite be seen,
She sometimes almost went away
But re-appeared in dreams.

She often spoke in voices
Quite like those I knew so well,
The tag team of complicit pain
Who cast their icy spell.

We look inside the mirror
Thinking, I know who is me
But you know you are deeper still,
Than anyone can see.

We see the version of ourselves
That we accept as truth.
Honed out of mixed perspectives,
Thrust on us since our youth.

The saddest waste of life is what
we all can sometimes do.
To trust the doppelganger,
Who pretends that they are you.

Go back and hold your own hand
In the places, times and hours
When your wondrous thoughts and feelings
Were swamped by other’s powers.

Refocus where you stand today
Right now, and ever more,
The person who can walk alone,
A giant through the door.

Without the weight of what was then,
And who you never were.
For all that is ahead of you
For you, but best for HER.

LW

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Mulling it over

At this time of year we usually start gathering up memories of all the adventures we’ve had, the travels we have been on and the places we have explored. Scrolling through our face book feeds , we get used to being taken from country to country and restaurant to restaurant.

Science has worked out why you just can't stop scrolling through Facebook –  The National Student

This year we were more likely to have been transported into the living rooms and opinions of celebrities, old box sets and adverts for things which we might get back to, dreams to purchase or get a buzz from .. one day… one day …… Our t.v and actual diets have had to adapt, due to the limitations of the pandemic.

Happiness Boost - Hygge - Beverly Hills Therapy Group

My art group and plenty of organisations supporting those with mental health issues or, indeed, having mobility problems themselves; are pretty used to this need for acceptance and flow. In our conversations on the phone or during online get togethers every week for this entire year : although there have been a myriad of concerns, feeling isolated, having to be patient, waiting longer for someone to help because the usual support network isn’t there…. the skills gained from long term health conditions have primed many people for further isolation with a spirit of making do.

How To Design a Strong Week for Better Energy | by JD Meier | The Startup |  Medium
I know a lot of superheroes

Throughout the year, numerous artworks have been achieved by you, from everyday drawings in lockdown which you used as inspiration and which generated a wonderful community group, to the Artist’s collaboration with my poet friend Ruth which rippled out across several regions and included both written and painted work. Even a little science.

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The Facebook page for the Strawberry Juice project has this lovely photo by Carey Douglas- Carnegie on the profile, if you feel like a squiz..

Please visit our site SeaSparkle. Org to see all the artwork achieved by Artists, friends, clients, and groups this year.

In a year which created bubbles out of our houses and complicated rules for how to tango around a friend in the street with a mask on, one constant was our furry friends for company and good hugs. We lost two of the best you could ever hope to love , and still miss Skye and Pumpkin dearly. (see earlier posts) But these three cheeky faces have been a distraction and very welcome company, especially during these months stranded with no family on a clifftop!

We had a recent scare with Bear having a serious injury on Sunday , and cutting an artery in his foot. He needed emergency surgery on a Sunday no less.. An expensive fright. It has been incredible to receive all your support and we are very grateful.

He has made a good recovery and is milking the cuddles for all they are worth. Max and Molly the cats, and Sugar the chicken have accepted the newbies, and the evening love-ins on the sofa are a welcome end to the day, especially after yet another teenage bedroom battle.. and once I figure out how to dog proof my flower beds from the Bear, and my builder finishes the decking, (only ten months Dave) !!!! life and the garden will resume some kind of normal, in an un-normal time.

No tree is safe….

Scrolling through the ipad, we read another post on self improvement..

Pros and Cons of a good friend — Steemit

It makes us think of so many people in charities, groups, churches, food banks, community groups and neighbourhoods, working silently with no recognition or gold stars, no clapping or extra pay. Or even pay at all. The thing is, that people are actually doing incredible things everywhere and have either no time or no inclination to tell the world about it.. Thankyou for the kindnesses we have received throughout the year and for the people who have swept into our lives just as we’ve needed help most.

Antique Christmas postcard -Girl child, woman mother daughter, shopping presents  parcels, roa… | Christmas postcard, Antique christmas, Christmas tree with  presents

It is the loveliest feeling in the world when children start mimicking the positive things that adults do, and can still feel empathy when they have been let down. In a world that can seem hard to understand, lets hope they come through this being a little more patient and kind to their neighbours. They will certainly have gained endurance skills we can only marvel at, in this adapted world.

12 Intentional Acts of Kindness for Random Acts of Kindness Day ~ Vintage  Unscripted

The two of us have had a busy few weeks, making art for the local notice boards, putting together cushions from scraps sewn by a friend with dementia, helping a friend to still have Christmas when her festive things were in boxes from a house move, and surprising her with a secret tree, food and decoration delivery, and keeping up community art zooms and daily whatsapp chats. recording an online zoom nativity, and finishing off small bits of art for friends. If a few small acts of kindness became second nature even between teenage meltdowns, (one of which left a crack in the back door) something is going in!! ..

This year has seen a deterioration in my personal bone health with less hospital and go access than ever. It has now taken two years to get treatment. I’ll spare you the details but instead, focus on the lockdown art and what we’ve made from it. It makes me proud to show you the outcome of those months, time spent every day super early drawing so that other people could later join in too. Banking a range of pictures and paintings which have now become prints and cards.

It has not been an easy year. Several times our only plans have been cancelled. We were meant to travel three times abroad and couldn’t, have guests to stay, and couldn’t, go away for birthdays and couldn’t. As a young carer the events and groups were cancelled for her and replaced with a noisy but fun sounding trumpet lesson! We know and trust change is coming. The faith in ourselves and our stamina, our plans and what comes next.. have kept us warm and moving forward for many months. I feel certain you like us have felt a rainbow of emotions this year. Patience has been hard to come by when the timescale is a moving target.

I found a glove

We are all learning how resourceful we are and finding joy in the details of life

Land girls with veg baskets - Reaseheath College

Making and appreciating new friends has been a great benefit of this year. Sadly not every friendship we have will go the distance especially in a changing world as we evolve and grow into ourselves. And actually that is healthy. If being around a person in particular makes you feel flustered, sad, anxious, or scared; Take steps to remove yourself from that relationship. Even a regular friendship can lose its way sometimes, leaving the door open for new conversations. Making space will always create opportunity.

there's no time like the past | Henri cartier bresson, Bresson, Photo

We were extremely fortunate to meet a great group of women in the Cedar programme this Autumn. Our lives can always squeeze in a supportive circle of folk who truly get what you experienced. I have learnt that by being open, we enable this process in others and this gift can come when someone least expects, but really needs it. Please do reach out and speak to someone if you or they are struggling.

We all live our lives in our little houses. our little universe… but those friends that you meet along the way, that you bond with; especially now, hold on to them. They showed up .

THE SCHOOL FRIEND Annual 1945 HB - £7.99 | PicClick UK

In the next year, we will pursue plans to extend sea sparkle art and wellbeing classes whether that continues to be online or together.

and who knows what else might be up our sleeves

In the coming weeks of excess, and hope, colours, and expectation, take a minute to soak up a small miracle and the sound of laughter
Spiderweb Photo by Jim Lyle , laughing kids, mums own and one borrowed …

As we move into the next chunk of time anticipating or dreading Christmas, depending on our health, tier, situation, or circumstance we can reflect on one or two fundamentals….

Nobody ever got richer or cleverer sending mass messages to everyone on their friends list that need ten replies before sundown. Choose your scrolling wisely.

Unordered List Adventures: List: Charming Vintage Web Ads

Charity shops can no longer shift your stuff, so there is no point clearing out everything you own because a minimalist Japanese lady tells you to. Although, there is sense in a calm space.

At Overloaded Thrift Shops, Coronavirus Is Wreaking Havoc - Bloomberg

You already know what food makes you sick so stop eating it and wasting time going to appointments relearning the obvious. There are no g.p.s so use them wisely. Your stomach does not know its Christmas.

Transforming your leaky gut to a happy gut — Charlotte Hill Chill + Nourish

Not everybody will approve of your taste, style, decisions or way of life. So do stop trying to please them all. This pandemic gives us a global and a personal amnesty on all previous self sabotage. Check into a tribal bubble that has your back.

Safe In My Bubble – Broken Light: A Photography Collective

Your glove will find you. Your calling will come. The tiny beautiful things you do today will move mountains tomorrow

And a typewriter, to write heartfelt letters to friends and family. |  Vintage ads, Vintage advertising signs, Vintage artwork

Eat slowly, light nice candles, hug something, read all the things you always meant to, remember most things we need don’t cost much , see the top half of the glass, breathe slowly , write or share your thoughts, and remember to laugh. Wishing you the festive season you want and need , whatever that looks like. Thank-you for being a support for Lizatthebeachhut and Seasparkle this strangely shaped year.

We wish you the Happiest of Christmas wishes

Vintage Christmas Images and Illustrations Free CC0 Public Domain | rawpixel

love from Liz and the zoo xxx

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A spoonful of sugar …

Hello dear friends.

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Well, what started as a regular kind of monthly journal has become something very different this month. We truly hope you are well, wherever you are and send our thoughts to you in the world.

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As we all hunker down for little while there are some small things, we can do to stay healthy in different ways.  

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Firstly, this pandemic is all a bit like your mum turning out the lights while you’re still wide awake. It suddenly got dark. Nobody felt ready to just stop doing and being.

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But the thing to remember is how marvellous we all actually are in the face of adversity. soon you’ll get used to a routine and it will feel less scary. If ever there was an excuse to get your old teddy bear out of the attic it is now!

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A lot of folk with anxiety or who rely on social interaction and consistency in routine will need you to help them maintain this.  Perhaps this is you, or someone you love. It will be really vital to establish a structure of some kind in an indefinite time bubble.

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So, make sure there is some phone contact, post your numbers through the neighbour’s door, set up a time each day or week to speak. Routine for the vulnerable is really important. The world hasn’t disappeared. But for some, it might feel like it has. Please use this if you can..

    Hi, I am your Neighbour.
My name is:………………………………………………………………….
My phone number is:……………………………………………….
My email is: ……………………………………………………….
I can help you in an emergency with the following : …………………………………… …………………………………… ……………………………………. …………………………………….
I go shopping on ……………………………………………….
And I am happy to help if you need some extra things.
Let me know by ………………………..….………………………………..
I may need help with   ……………………………………………….. …………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………….. ……………
Use this space for your emergency contact instructions or information …………………………………………………………………………………… ………………………………………………………………………………….. ………………………………………………………………………………… ……………………………………………………………………………………. ……………………………………………………………………………………….                              

If you have the facility to set up an online get together, or WhatsApp group make it an excuse for a collective chat and making session.  Social isolation can exacerbate old fears and self-destruct buttons. So, if you can be part of something for yourself, and each other it will help

My to do list will definitely include a pile of unfinished artwork!

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We will be posting lots of ideas on our Facebook pages over the next couple of months, and attempting videos … watch this space!!

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Don’t listen to too much news, don’t watch too much tv and scroll through endless pages on the internet. Limit your time to first thing in the day, and in the evening. Instead sit down and write all the things you never had time to do. If you don’t get them done at home in the next few months, you never will! So now is the time to crack on. create things, read your books, write a book! Colour in things, re- decorate, sew things, mend things, cook things and get outside and plant something, even in a couple of pots.

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All of the above can and should be part of your child’s home schooling, which most of you will have enforced on you as well. To make the day work as well as it can, structure a loose timetable to help them and you cope with what is happening.

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Definitely restrict screen time. Insist on this! But perhaps use it as part of a lesson to compensate.

Kids need a good breakfast and most work better on maths and English earlier in the day so pace their learning with short blocks of whatever they are studying. If they can check in with you often, or sit in an organised space they are more likely to absorb their task.

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Don’t reward each task with treats. The child wouldn’t get this in school and will otherwise end up the size of  a house! I am already finding the need for more stringent house rules on snacking.

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Even if I wasn’t a teacher, replicating school is never going to happen at home. Kids naturally don’t take us seriously. So, if we get a few sums done, an art project on alien virus creatures and you plant a sunflower, that’s enough.

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As for the more vintage of you, get a little more on top of the usual needs. Your doctor’s surgery knows everyone is worried and will expect you to place your prescription early. It might take a few days longer and if you are isolated ask a neighbour or in some cases they can deliver.

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For many people, in an emergency, there is an initial period of disbelief and then we go a bit numb. And this is when your coping strategies need to kick in, on behalf of those you love and yourself. If you feel you are safer at home, stay there. Feed yourself well.

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My friend said she found there was suddenly no flour on the shelves. Some of us might actually bake, but many people are buying in case they decide to! Think about the things which will sustain you, if you can’t get to the shops for  a week. What type of bread freezes best? (wraps are good) and go with a list to the shops. Because you will lose the ability to make logical decisions when surrounded by hysteria. Breathe, buy, head home and shut the door.

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Being indoors for a prolonged period isn’t easy, so make it your home your nest. Keep it clean and open windows to circulate air. Jiggle things around. use this as an excuse to do a drastic whatever.. Paint a wall, knit a rug, decoupage a dog bed… whatever keeps your hands busy.

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Watch things which take you to another world. Our minds need to dream, believe, trust and create hs yet to be explored. This cant be done by watching documentaries of people being evicted and soaps where everyone wants to sabotage one another’s relationships. . The same is true of books. Whilst an odd headline in a paper is ok to read, why not listen to audio books which teach you stuff, re- read a classic or read a story with your children. Or grandchildren. This can still happen over a facetime call. This might teach us all how to be story tellers again.

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I was asked to make something for a friend of mine recently. She knew of a couple who had a couple of old vases and they had sentimental value, precious to them. He broke one accidentally and threw away all the pieces . He was well and truly in the dog house. Could I do something with a few of the bits, so that he could give something back to his wife as way of an apology?

So I made them a picture ….. We await the result of his journey from the garden to the marital home! xxx

Broken things can be fixed, maybe not as they were before. But in a different guise and with a new mosaic pattern. Don’t throw anything away simply because it’s use isn’t yet understood. But don’t hoard either !! these next few months might make us all re-think what is important. .  

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Make the most of your cuddles, your animals and your resources. We are all fortunate in many ways still and have to be positive.

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So, over the next while, please do stay in touch on Facebook and here. Keep your minds healthy as well as your body and your space.

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We just learnt that Skye isn’t too well, so this time is even more precious. You my friends are an inspiration and this too shall pass xxx  Good luck, take a deep breath and know you got this ..

With huge love Liz and the zoo.

xxxx

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February Flowers

Twice in the last week I have been told to smile. Both times I emphatically believed I was smiling already. And what was wierd was one person could hardly see me on the phone, and the other had their back to me when they said it.

Thing was, I was in big pain. And it was possibly harder to hide than I thought . Even though my facial muscles were doing their hardest to fool everyone…

The people who know us know US. We are far more than a couple of facial muscles. What we emanante, even if we are miles away is an invisible but powerful combination of ingredients which make us up, and are ever fluid. We are made up of things ‘we portray, things we don’t realise we show, the things we do, the things we say, what we wear, and how we interact with the world.

Every time we try to revamp our style, all this does is brush on a fresh coat of paint on a well loved home. The home you personally inhabit is deeper than that. My pain was showing and I didnt realise. But even without looking, it was felt by those who cared. Sensed.

WE are the sum of more than just our own truths. Whether we like it or not.. and this is where you better make sure your’e on Santa’s good list.. someone somewhere can pick up on your hidden depths, your fears, dreams and gorgeously different ability to navigate life’s journey.

In our way is fear of success, fear of showing off, perhaps a life of crippling comments from a family member. Thankfully, if you ask those that truly love you who you are…. you’ll find out that you are not just your doubts, your pain or your insecurities..

Your fabulous personality is a coat of many colours. We recently asked our group to write down words to describe each other and put them together as a gift for each person. It is a tough thing for many people to read, let alone re-write nice things about themselves!! Most wouldn’t have dared to say those things in the mirror. Me included. !! But it was a very worthwhile exercise in cheering up a gloomy February Monday.

Kind of lovely…

If you don’t believe in your own particular style of magic who else will?

We have to trust that from tiny seeds planted when we can only dream ideas up, when we are sore or tired or alone: crumbling a handful of earth between our fingers….. that great blooms will eventually grow.

In between the grey skies and the routines, the heating breaking down (oh yes.. thankfully all pets at once sit on you in this house… )

A few things got printed… Completed and will add to the stock created by Liz at the Beach Hut to fund plans or our community enterprise Sea Sparkle…..

Thank you Serendipity for putting us in the window last week! We are hoping to build on our efforts to create a permanent disabled friendly space to host our Art group. As well as fund a travelling Art-Mobile to take our accessible art to as many people as we can.

We have been a little restricted with the weather lately but occasionally pop our head out of the window….

So in the meantime just pose in the odd cafe…..

Oh ok. Ill keep her.

Exhibition

This month saw the fruits of the Art group’s hard work come together in an exhibition, entitled Art for Health’s Sake. One of a few not for profit supportive and creative gatherings of individulas, coming together in creativity through ill health, mental health issues or through dementia. I can’t tell you how incredible it was to see our artists at their own private view, enjoying the compliments for their work and for their attitude to life and one another. Pride doesn’t come close. My heart is still bursting.

Go to Sea Sparkle on Facebook to see the exhibition video and Sea Sparkle.org on wordpress to see more great examples of the Artist’s work.

Our Coast is cornucopia of beautiful views, oddities, cultural sites and old world charms; backdropped against a wild and wonderful sea with big dramatic skies. As a member of the Eyemouth Art Trail, we spent an afternoon working out the accessibility of the route we plan to highlight in future maps. I am always delighted to show off the town and its cultural hotspots. Especially with a bouncy assistant in tow..

And then the best part… to hibernate afterwards, as it is still freeeezing. Thank goodness for this little baby and the other furry ones. Who understand the need for huddling in extreme situations!!

There is no escape…

Projects have continued by the fire. This is Lulu Hope. She is a little bit of all of us. Inspiration from my girlfriends and what they are achieving against the odds , and certainly gone to the best home of all , a friend I am in awe of.

How lovely to have some artwork in this gorgeous building. Marshall Meadows. A hotel and permanent Art Exhibition hosting several local artists within beautiful grounds. You can find it just before Berwick and the exhibition is coordinated by a friend of mine Dorothy. She helped hang several of my pieces and we will have a private view later in the year .

This was a secret present for a couple of my pals…

Happy Birthday lovely

We currently have no permanent venue for our groups. So once a week, we take our pjs and a trolley to the home of one maker. Everyone is welcome and we bring food to share. Winter can be incredibly isolating. And especially in areas where there is no central hub. For now, this is a wonderful and warm place to eat, make and gather.

The house is getting a lick of paint… Odd things are getting revamped, re-tweaked, repainted….

Even the bath panels didn’t escape a spot of decoupage…

because when Spring comes.. just try and stop my hands being in that earth….

And even a couple of paws…

Keep cooking up a storm…..

xxxxxx

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Baby steps

This year has floored me, and thankfully after months of persistence and perseverance things are starting to happen now on the medical front, although, they are far from resolved. Tomorrow a knee operation will start things off and then hopefully the long-awaited tests and mri’s we are waiting for will get organised. It has been much harder being on crutches when another area of disease attacking the upper body has spread.

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However, dwelling on the pain and things we can’t do isn’t what we are about around here, and helping each other out; making activities possible is not only what we do, but what we want to continue to build for lots of other people. Right now my gratitude overfloweth..

We have some amazing people in our lives, some who we see once a year, appearing with beach hut goodies to build our vision, others who donate lovely art materials for classes to use, others who collect stuff to draw, or help set up tables and carry bags and others who just are kinder than kind with their offers to be available to help.

Post op, we are pulling together our plans under a second blog- a seaside vintage community arts page which will celebrate your achievements, show our progress and tell people our ideas.

We would really love your help. If you would like to be a trustee right at the start of this exciting project, please contact me on lizatthebeachhut@yahoo.co.uk. We need people who have experience in funding applications!! And generally nice folk who want to help people less able to be creative at the coast.

The project is called Sea Sparkle and if you click on the link you’ll see why. Hope you like it. x https://seasparkle.org/2017/09/25/what-is-the-beach-hut/

We are on facebook-

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*Sea sparkle

*Liz at the beach hut

*Liz Walker (request) picture of me and Leah

Your donations, your beach hut additions, your offers of lifts and volunteering, make activities possible. You rock xxx

But first.. Off to get a bit better…

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Better pack a bag and dream up new plans. More bits to follow, but for now, sending you all Much love,

Liz and the gang at the Beach Hut

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Sea My Stix

Feel like you need a bit of extra colour in your life? Me too….Why let a few things like bones degenerating and limbs going wobbly slow you down…

Having spent five years now on crutches, people often ask what they are made from and where I got them.. They often start conversations and even friendships…

My crutches have remained waterproof and robust, with plenty of compliments over the years, stopping us in supermarkets, charity shops, airports, on the beach, in the village.. and many times we have been asked if we make copies….

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So now we shall.

We can now offer you the opportunity to have your crutches pimped and primed your way. Securely covered in the styles and colours of tape which resonate with you, as many designs as you like .

Do your wild thing to match everything you own!



Let’s rewrite the rule book and give our sticks some personality. These poor supports need some better press…

Crutches don’t need to be scary

Go to Facebook- Sea My Stix for more details xx

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All profits from wraps will go to community Art Groups x

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For Z

november 018 039The last few weeks, a procedure on my hand has meant a  rest from all things requiring fingers and thumbs…which has limited my writing. Thankfully it is the singing and eating season so other bits of you get to be spoilt .The Christmas roller-coaster has begun in a joyful way with old and new friendships, very high notes thanks to the organist’s tendency to go up each verse.. as a wee joke… and a general spike of conviviality in the air.. Having joined the wonderful Echo Choir in Eyemouth  a few months ago, my new bunch of  ‘Leah’s  Aunties and I  popped up in many churches, priories and village halls – all of us a bit more hobbly than the next.. But helping each other on and off a variety of stages and podiums in our adopted new family..

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We were also special guests for the day at our previous group at Newbattle Abbey….The Rough and Ready choir. We were welcomed with a fantastic queue of hugs, many folk we hadn’t seem for a long time. It was really special, beginning the season with the assurance that true connections don’t break and it was a generous Christmas gesture which meant an awful lot. Thank you Marion!!

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Preparing for the entire Christmas magic and Santa as a single mum in a bungalow (with no spare storage!!) on crutches… And my handyman checking I’m not going up ladders…is not an easy task!

So my Christmas fairy magic has been set to highImage result for magic glitter

We have had a brilliant variety of meet -ups  with all the community groups we work with, or who share their time with us, for final pre-Christmas Art group lunches and sparkly glittery sessions..

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And it was all going so well…….

Whilst quietly, happily, juggling hospital treatments, school plays and life…From nowhere both of us found ourselves fielding off not one but two unwanted pests

Weeping-Angel

The festive melting pot had decided to add resilience, patience and (a certain amount of) tolerance to the festive the mix……

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But…Our ethos is simple. We have time for everyone.  Life has served us a few bruised old lemons and we have made limoncello..

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Most people don’t mean to be grumpy. It can be a cry for help, a conditioned response that someone is actually being kind to them, that they deserve attention or love, or they might be simply having an off day……

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However. Repeatedly being unkind and scary for no reason is not ok. Being bullied is never ok.

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And we all deserve to walk away from people who bring a suitcase of dog poo to our door.

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Big scary days will come..

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And go again…….

And before you know it the sun comes out ..

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It would be so easy to lose hope or faith..

But

How would that help?

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Our bodies, our finances, our ideas, our tastes in clothes, our children’s opinions of us, and all these things change

But our real friendships don’t

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In my strange week of joy, fear, worry, and also a weary, poorly wee one (who still got through her exciting and very well done school show with aplomb….)Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, eyeglasses and closeup

A couple of unbelievably magical things happenedbook_letter_by_atilazz-d2zf8s41

Kindnesses from a couple of people believing in us and the Art hub we are trying to get started, invitations of friendship, offers of future support and a very very kind gesture of goodwill from a big heart who has made a huge difference. Because of you, we can make plans for after Christmas to help other people. You gave us validation and a sprinkling of magic. Thank you so very very much.

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Oh… and also someone gave us some chickens!!!!!

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A member of my group took the time to write a piece about our class. It was four pages long and utterly honest and heartfelt. In it she described her journey and first day, through to how much she loves the atmosphere and safe space in the room.

It was written from a true place of honesty and friendship… Z: I am in awe of your bravery. You voiced what many of our group want to say and can’t. You should feel so proud.

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You are an angel.

I came home, and stood in my kitchen and I wrote a poem thinking about you and all the amazing people we know..

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Because of brave people like you, like the amazing artists who come to the classes, or read our scribbles… our fears, whatever size they are, are lessened in company.

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Strong

On this day I would like to say 
That many people come our way , 
Some are amazing , fill us with joy
Lavish their time and their hearts employ 
Some inspire us , some make us calm , some are like blankets, our slippers, our arm … 
some will be there when the chips get all soggy 
Some will be there when the weather gets foggy 
But some try and scare us , or squash us right down, 
Some are so sad that they can’t help their frown
They won’t let you help them , you’re worn out just trying, 
Instead of your living your watching them dying 
It isn’t your fault , you only have you 
Make it your mission to make yourself true 
Stand in the mirror and tell those who scare you
I’m keeping my good friends 
Bully my tribe … how dare you ? 

To the very few determined to stay stormy….

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The rest of us;

Are, People believing in people.

You matter.

If you are in, or want to be in a group of like-minded humans.. You will find them.

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We are all about creating on a Monday to pay for people to create on a Tuesday, We smile through the down days because when we do, sometimes we realise the day isn’t as bad as we thought it was, and someone else is looking up at you for inspiration… You know who you can give your time to..

Z .You asked me who you can trust.  Now that’s a million dollar question. But stop panicking and feel. What are you seeing in a person’s eyes? Are they listening to you? Do they want to know what you feel, need, do, dream of ? If it is only on their own good days, it isn’t friendship.

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There are really people in the world that will ALWAYS have your back, even on their down days. They put them to one side for you. They half their meal and slide it onto your plate. Choose people who eyes you look into and see kindness.

 You have a million colours and there are people who want you to be a rainbow.

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Our ever growing family of friends, artists and makers are fabulous. We are growing strong roots from our hardy beans and I can’t wait to see what we all get up to next.

Until then, thank you from the bottom of my duct taped crutches for believing in Liz at The beach Hut, coming to our groups and classes, being so inspiring and kind to both me and mini and for reading our blog all year .Image result for christmas heart

There are new projects in the planning and we always need helpers!46960651_10156949153086869_5739689381208260608_n

Have a brilliant Christmas and we wish even the grumpiest of humbugs a sparkly festive time.

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Love and Hugs, Liz, Leah, Skye, Max, Molly, and now Sugar and Spice!!

xxx

 

 

 

 

 

Uncategorized

Rain

 

Sometimes even the sunniest day has a rain-cloud. Having weathered many a storm, I had considered myself fairly immune to those pesky clouds… Well, life doles out surprises when we least expect it and the smallest detail going wrong can be the breaking of us occasionally…

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I really don’t mump a lot. But we all need to sometimes, and when you feel the scales of pain or unfairness outweigh your sparkle,  it is alright to smudge your freshly swiped eyeliner. People make choices in their communication and perception of others, and twice I recently encountered a drama storm without wearing my rain coat . I have seen that destruction before and witnessed the fallout by hurt people creating more of the same.   Image result for no thank you

I just felt too tired to get through the imminent events about to unfurl..  It was  experience and instinct. Having the last word is so rarely a gift you need to keep, and  I walked away. The effect was relief and utter exhaustion.

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It wasn’t just one thing though, and that is key. Generally we can deal with one or two muppets, disappointments, pain, and grief. But not all at once. Endless circles chasing  operations, being told to get a treatment, only to arrive and be turned away on the advice of someone else, having to got to a point where even my lovely physio can’t justify the little he is able to do to help. I felt my hope slipping…..

Now… my glass is usually not only half full, but full of sparkly bubbles..

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My path is usually strewn with sparkly stuff

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But, here I was in a feeling I didn’t recognise. I had crumpled inside when I least expected it. Trying to be ok lasted two days. I knew I wasn’t ok and so did my lovely tribe.

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The wierd thing was, that somewhere right down deep inside myself, I knew I was fine. I scanned the desire to run to Spain (no pun intended) or eat my bodyweight in custard creams, and riding it out seemed the only option. My face just needed to implode.

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So without thinking too hard about it, I told my friends on my personal Facebook page. I knew that they knew, it was unusual. It wasn’t awful, but it was a painful, black inky blip and I knew I didn’t want it to spread.Image result for vintage hand writing

Within a few seconds someone had replied. In fact, someone I know less well than some of my other friends, but her kind words and immediacy were so gratefully received. And the words kept coming, trickling in like a hand squeeze or an extra pillow.. My face leaked, my limbs ached, my head thumped and my eyes went very small . My sofa was delighted and so was were my animals who used my body as extra heating.. And the pain started to ease a bit.. I have suggested to one of my friends, that ordering hugs by courier ( just a hug! )  Might be a new business for them…

Thank you brilliant friends and neighbours for the time taken to give me support that day. The words you gave me were like little precious diamonds. I was asked by someone else why tell Facebook? Aren’t you just telling the world your business? My answer is no. When we can bear to speak about the demons, they start to shrivel away, and already this brief little bleuughhhhh.. became a positive conversation in another forum helping other people. You choose how and what and with who to share and only when you feel it is safe.

 

Opening up, rather than either taking it out on anyone else or internalizing has to be a good thing. Crawling further inside a body playing tricks on me, analysing and finding emotional pathways which weren’t there in the first place, was not necessary. I quite like my head clear enough to be of some use in the world. I watched as the weather came and the heavens opened……

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Once in a while, a day comes along which like a huge gust of wind literally knocks you off your legs… or in my case crutches… The usual techniques which work on cementing the stiff upper lip in place aren’t working, and the floodgates have weirdly not only opened but disappeared entirely… it was literally like drowning in your entire wardrobe..Image result for drowning in clothes

The mechanical workings you normally see in the mirror safely ticking along, easing each micro movement need oiling and you can hear some vital parts grinding together where once there was an easy flow..

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…All you want to do is sleep.  Sadness is so heavy …

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So let the monsoon come..

 

Because, after you tell someone it’s outside of you again… you start answering your own questions… it is the start of unbreaking.

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I am lucky to have some kind of unwavering determination to stay on this planet to keep being inspired by those amazing and brave souls I come into contact with every day.

For that, I thank whichever Gods are with me…

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Today I thank my neighbour for the surprise flask of hot water in the middle of a very long power cut . I literally can’t see without caffeine ! She is worth keeping positive for. And the surprise bunch of flowers from another neighbour who read my post. As he apologised for their store-bought origins, I want to tell him that a bunch of daisies from a grass verge would still mean as much.

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We shouldn’t apologise for ourselves. Or our own personal weather patterns. Our big, emotional, colourful, strange, indescribably, wonderful selves… who will have some days sunnier than others.

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Create, scream, plant, share, paint, stitch, listen, draw and see which doors begin to open on your path..

 

 

Crap days will come.. They just prove how normal the other ones are.

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If someone you know is having a day like this… just tell them its ok. Don’t judge, question, fix,  micro manage, and offer endless avenues of helpful possibilities and comfort, unless they ask you to. You’ll know if they need something. Just be around.

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It’s not about you.

Not today anyway. They will be back. And that’s the thing I have learnt, that the folk who help each other are the ones that just let you play it out, without always having to bring their stuff to the table. Because the real you just needed a break to let rip for a bit… you can’t get through understanding your stuff whilst simultaneously explaining it to someone else.Image result for exploding brain

Your brain, like your energy can only cope with so much…

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The next day they/you/we will be back in step again…

Sometimes we wonder why our children are acting out and riding unimaginably bumpy emotional rollercoasters . All this drama and frustration and anger at the world not quite being as they think it should be..

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How can our  funny, loving and confident young person, having coped with a lot already and thriving regardless be so utterly woebegone and angry?

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Because they are human. And its a hard hard thing to be, Some find it much harder than others and actually the ones that shout loudest are usually the ones who need most comfort. However, as a very wise friend told me, sadly showing scars on his back from his own childhood, keeping it all in is worse. Inverting the pain and not letting someone show their feelings will only ever end up backfiring.

We can’t go back to childhood but we can be inspired by it and its lack of emotional rules.

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My first feeling as an adult when I felt a bit rubbish, was guilt. What if I let someone down? What if I couldn’t fulfill all my roles that day? What if  not doing what I usually did and losing my brave face melted the world and everyone in it? What if .. what if…???

Do you know what happened?.. Nothing. Today’s power cut was a bit like that. All the electricity and noise went off. There was very little I could do, no way of communicating, no internet and not many jobs I could do but basic ones and some drawing. Bliss.

Headspace.

Every now and again a meltdown is just a appetizer to a better version of peace. and will free you. Your real mates will get it.

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We all have an enormous bag of gifts to offer. I lived a long time with my best ones under wrap, like brightly coloured parcels. Art, music, being allowed to dance and perform and the honest joyous conversations you can only have when you live without fear.Image result for looking in mirror

 

What I know now is that, I may have lost dancing (for now) but the Rocky Mountains climbed over to claim back all the other wonders were not hopeless. It took my inner tiger to get here and she’s still purring. I wear my heart openly in all weathers because these stories aren’t just mine. They are in all of us. In our Art group we share stories and we trust. Seeing other’s fall and not smash ourselves wide open without a safety net. If you feel safe to talk to someone when you are tumbling down, they won’t judge you. Saying it outwardly stops your thoughts turning to negative self spiralling spaghetti.. and worse.

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I wish I could turn back the clock and put my arm around the young woman coping,  patching over the cracks, and slowly vanishing.

She deserved to feel like a whole person. She might have run a long time sooner!

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A friend of mine told me she thinks we are all a bit flakey. We are. We have our coping methods and the right people in your life will understand them. Be sad, but be joyous too. “God mum you are so embarrassing” mini tells me last night as I hugged the car mechanic who delivered my car home.

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Quite right..! She didn’t know why. So I told her.

My car is my lifeline. Without it I can’t go anywhere. Disabled spaces are like jigsaw pieces around cities and map out our adventures together.. My car was making a dreadful crunching noise. The man in the garage I nipped into for advice, told me he couldn’t fix it. He has cancer. But his son was up from England, helping with the business and could look at the car later. On a day when the lad was already snowed under, probably worried about his poor Dad, he ordered the parts, drove us home, did the work and delivered the car back, getting a lift from someone else so we didn’t have to go back out. That kind of kindness should be shouted from the rooftops.

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It is ok to feel . Sometimes when life gives you lemons, a bit of juice gets in your eye and stings like hell.. All the cold grey mornings, art that won’t work, flopped cakes, screaming children, sore bodies, hurtful comments or worrying thoughts…..Most of us, like another good friend said, hold the wound until a clot forms.Image result for vintage strong

Being strong is admirable…

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But it’s always better in company…

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For the days when you feel bleuuuuuugh………………………………..Image result for old phone

For the moments when you feel like you are leaking……….Image result for umbrella

For the rude people who should know better…   Image result for vintage hug

and for everything  else…. Image result for vintage chocolate

Stay Dry. Love and Hugs

Liz xxx

Uncategorized

The Blank Page

 

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I’ll let you into a secret.. Blank canvas syndrome is an actual thing. Stalling at the moment of creative freedom is the hurdle of almost anyone who ever picks up a brush or a pencil. We imagine ourselves unable to do this massively hard thing which encompasses our genius in one monumental piece of art. Over and over again.

We stand enraged at ourselves for being rubbish before we we even start

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And then more often than not we don’t bother at all, because the fear of the creating bit is too big and too scary.

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There are too many choices

I have noticed this human tendency in many situations, presented with a wobbly, new or challenging step in our lives, we revert to our most vulnerable, smallest sense of self. Some people can overcome this through having had positive childhood  or life experiences,  conditioning from supportive friends and especially from family . But let’s face it, for most of us, there have been enormous gaps in our well-being feedback, in relation to most aspects of anything we put out there, on show to the world…

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If we can hide we often do

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We can lose confidence and momentum as easily as we gain it, because humans want to believe their flaws out weigh their fantastic qualities.

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Standing on the precipice of a chapter can be mind-blowing.Image result for standing on the edge

I know this to be true. You can fool yourself into believing there will be nothing there to fill the void.. you know nothing about his new thing yet, so how can you trust it? you will never reach the level of comfort you had before.. so best maybe to do what you always did.. and stay where you were ..oh so comfortable….

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and the magic and experiences waiting for you can never be.

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Life isn’t a straight line though,  like a bus chugging through the things we do, forgettable and then starting over again tomorrow. Your skills and wisdom back-back gets fuller as you go,  and you will only ever ripen in yer old age.. It doesn’t matter what your fears are.  Moving out of a loveless home, leaving a job, starting a new group or an activity you dreamed of doing when you were a kid.. If you need to do it from the bottom of your boots.. then the layers you have grown over your heart will turn slowly into your new jet pack.. and give you wings..Image result for flying person

Each day,  and situation isn’t a blank canvas .

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We are an accumulation of all that we have ever done so far.

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A million moments we either choose to remember, celebrate or let pass by..

Each one slowly feeds us and our mind absorbs the important bits , inspiring future ideas;  the big, important, or small, perfectly formed thoughts..the trick is to find your connection with what makes your hear sing;

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When we look for inspiration, or start a new artwork or project, we can be overwhelmed with self doubt .And we do the same with our own self image. We look at what we see in the mirror as less than perfect, swamping the whole picture , to reinvent ourselves once more and catch something new, which perfectly represents our ultimate ‘self.’

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Only , that particular fairy has wings. You’ll not catch her. She is a million fractured images at once, absorbed from past memories, experiences, joys and pain and can only ever be fleeting..  All you can do is be grateful for a good photograph occasionally, and smile as much as possible.. because it is the least aging facial contortion!

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As some-one who has been recently forced to look at  pictures of themselves less able  than they were, and not even know how lucky I was at the time, please take it from me that focusing on the perfections of what you look like NOW is so so so not important. It is about getting to know who you are this minute and to like them, trust your own brand of creativity without judgement, both in the mirror and on your canvas.

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Sometimes the more perfect we are the less we know ourselves..The more layers we apply to our guarded hesitant approach , the further away from freedom we have.

Enjoy your face but it’s what you do with it next that counts…

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Last week my daughter and I went to see Mama Mia at the Maltings in Berwick. We sat in the disabled bay with a man in a wheelchair. On paper tell me how fun that sounds?Image result for line of jelly babies

Well stop. Let me tell you, that between us, the lovely stewards (a very sweet couple) and a bag of jelly babies .. we probably had more fun than anyone in the cinema. Nobody cared we were singing and laughing out loud and we watched the film directly from the heart instead of from the perception of how it would look to others if we made a fool of ourselves. It was magical, memorable and we made three new friends.

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It is possible to enjoy yourself..

A surface of many types is just the beginning. Step one. The beginning of a chapter or an adventure. It is meant by its nature to be weathered and roughed up a bit, textured and aged until it’s true nature appears. If we know this we can see past the fear of the blank, because the joy of the process of seeking it out is part of the fun.

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 Let the magic happen.

And if it is your canvas giving you blank stares.. do one of the following;

How to Texture Your Painting surface

1 Cover the surface with pa and water, then tissue paper and then more p.v.a, flattening gently as you go with more gluey gloop and a big brush .

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2 Scrape a layer of texture onto your canvas,  using acrylic paints in either a rough approximation of your finished colour scheme or an opposite one ( complimentary colours can peep through your final work and look very effective.Image result for acrylic underlayer  on canvas

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3 Scrape on paint or an acrylic medium, or paint with a texture by adding sand .. then scratch into it with a card edge, tooth pick or press into your surface with bubble wrap or lace.

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4 Fill your surface with pattern and image from magazine cuttings,  in the same way as Idea 1, make sure they are nice and flat to work on. To make this slightly easier when you paint on top you can always glaze over with a very watery white acrylic wash 50% water/50% acrylic.

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5 After priming with a basic colour, draw on your canvas without looking directly at it. Do it with a really loose paint mix with a long brush or a stick with an oil pastel attached to the end. keep you marks really fluid and loose , enjoying the flow and rhythm of your idea without the constraints  of your four canvas sides.
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6 And when you start painting or applying your actual layers, don’t tighten up too much initially.. Try adding your detail with more tissue, or add torn -up older cast off artwork as an under-layer..

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The recipe for good things  takes time. Often we look at a person and their creations and think they appeared fully formed and gorgeous out of nowhere.. as if by magic. My guess is that they too have stood in new shoes..

Get your foundation right and the rest will follow.. Image result for good foundation

You wouldn’t plonk on beautiful make up without prepping your skin first .. to make it last, attach itself and shine out.  And the best faces, rooms, stories, canvases and relationships are built upon over time and with experience and wisdom . Trust what you know no matter what or who anyone else imagines you are.

 Artwork works when there is a  depth, texture and a hint of what has brought you to its creation.  Just please don’t confuse your surfaces.

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Its quite hard to eat your tea if your face is covered in magazine cuttings.

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Fill in the the blanks with your fabulous selves..

Love Liz xxx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Uncategorized

A little light on pain

Hello friends..

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For anyone you know, care about, or look after with a pain related illness, a widespread arthritic condition, fibromyalgia, M.E. or similar long term “chronic” symptoms.

Most of us would probably agree on one or two things.

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The term chronic is an unhelpful and misleading phrase, which lumps people together who simply have had an illness a long time. Chronic reads tragic, a bit sad and not quite figured out. The n.h.s, due to its inability to treat the whole person, fragments their parts to far flung departments, the more parts going wrong,  the more departments acquainting themselves with a version of the person they treat for 30 seconds.

Nobody ever seeing the whole picture and joining up the dots.

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When your body doesn’t work it leaves you frustrated, and struggling to know where you slot into a world you could previously easily move about in.

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You either sink or swim. And frankly some days the tide is against you.

Pain and immobile joints are exhausting. Being tired and feeling like you have flu, without the runny nose is common feeling, some days rendering you unable to lift limbs or keep awake until teatime. You know it will be different tomorrow, and you hold onto a fluttery butterfly of hope that the pain volume will be back down a bit. Those days are the toughest and might make your person sad. It is also really hard to describe the level of intense pain you have, to anyone who hasn’t felt it themselves. Similarly, if you look relatively ok, being believed and understood can be tricky. If your person has mental health or social anxieties as well, they might struggle to articulate the circle of needs they have and how people around them might help.

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Feeling you can’t mange physically can be very isolating. Seldom is there support for the feelings this can create. Whilst we try to create that in a practical way, it is different behind closed doors. Your partner and your children know you so well that they might not notice your day to day changing needs, or have the ability to understand them. Some friends might not see you in six months or a year and can’t be blamed for not knowing your deterioration and escalating needs. Check with your poorly person exactly what they are going through. It is a sure thing they haven’t wanted to bother you with the details.

You can guarantee your person doesn’t tell you a fraction of the times they are in pain. Not even close. So when they do, the Gods just turned the switch to mega-high and now, they need you to listen.

If they have a you to listen/help/share and support, then they are really really lucky.

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It is incredibly hard for your once independent loved one to ask for help. Nobody likes to feel they can’t be superhuman. But being human can sometimes feel like an enormous struggle too. If they ask you to help it might have taken a lot of biting back of their dignity and sense of self. Be kind and don’t stick an arrow over their heads reminding them of what a big favour you’re doing.

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Please don’t make your person feel guilty if they can’t make an arrangement, climb a hill, drive to a venue, stay awake past eight pm, or in my case sometimes even get from my car to the school door. Some days our bodies are letting us down badly, and to feel we somehow let down other people because of it, is a load too heavy to carry. ( Especially on crutches!)

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Hands, hips, knees, spine.. Every day can be a lottery, especially when it gets cold and damp. I am time limited with painting, to the sunny days and months.

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If your loved one uses a wheelchair, it can be a whole other set of issues. Being looked down on can feel like you are being ignored or bypassed when decisions are made. In crowds it is really hard to be pushed slowly like you have lost your va-va-voom and watch life zoom past you. Be aware of your friend or partner if they sometimes need help to get around, it can make them feel less than the person they used to be and humiliated to ask for support.

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Having to ask repeatedly for help is really tough. You kind of need someone to know, and not to dramatise it. If you can help someone, just be a subtle superhero.

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Without good support, I have seen people stop asking for help, creep slowly into their shells and stay there. In winter, when pain gets worse and bodies play hard ball, this can lead to people becoming terribly isolated and introverted. Then depression hits and you know how hard this can then be, impacting on health even more.

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If the person has a carer, especially if it is a younger person, they are connected in a way you might find hard to understand. Little things are big things to a person who can’t bend/walk/stand for long/use their grip or put their own shoes on. Quite rightly that carer needs support and their own space, but your friend will have a gap in their abilities to achieve certain things that they are used to getting help with, if that carer is away for a while. It might take much longer for example to get dressed, get the pets walked and fed or clean their shared home. The carer too has massively mixed feelings about their charge. Whilst carers can get a break, the guilt/co-dependence and shared care people have in their micro universe is tricky to unpick.Image result for carer

Your friend will simply be grateful you still see them as them, without the chipped away bits, the essence of who they were before disease or illness struck.

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For someone in pain, everyday activities they used to take for granted are like mountains and therefore it is incredibly important to respect how they still keep themselves tidy/organised and want to do normal stuff. And achieve their creativity or work.

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For example. It will be painful and arduous to Hoover carpets, get to the back of a bath or under toilets, under kids beds to clean out the mouldy plates. It will be very hard to carry laundry, sometimes carrying food to dinner tables, making beds or doing up buttons and opening jars. Any help is good help, as long as the assistant doesn’t make their mate feel guilty or that they need to ask. My best friend just grabs things off me and organises my fridge. Another put my entire post barbecue leftovers in Tupperware, housed all the cushions in the bunker, folded the chairs and stashed the wine bottles in the recycling. All tasks which would have taken the most part of a day to unpick.. She did it in twenty minutes whilst ordering me to drink tea.

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Your person is probably over compensating in some ways, because they can’t do other things. Let them. It’s their way. And their gift. Sometimes they might not say the thing they wanted to, or ‘be’ the person they hoped they would be that day. All a person in pain and illness wants, is to be treated with respect and to be quietly supported. If and when they can show their love back, it is almost certainly with utter gratitude and a deep deep relief that they have you in their life.

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To my friends now and in the future, thank you. I am very lucky to have you, and (most days!) my small person is my absolute rock. Creating an environment which welcomes folk in need of a bit colourful distraction is the start of our journey.  I wanted to share this as I am in the position of both being and supporting disability in different ways. In the act of helping in whatever way we can helps us too, and makes us choose gratitude over giving in.

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See you soon. Look after yourself and each other xxx

Liz

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